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User defined function performance is awful, Micorosft please sort this out

User defined functions looked like something great when they were introduced in SQL 2005. They are a very logical step to make more code reuseable by wrapping common code in functions. It is an approach that is in development 101 and something everyone does and looks to doing.

So what is the problem with SQL Server.

Well the issue is that ......

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SQL Server Trace Event Definitions

If you are using Event Notifications or capturing events in Profiler you undoubtedly have noticed that MS have used the same columns (xml elements) for storing different data for each event. For example there is an element called "integer data"...